Overcoming Fear and Breaking Free from its Tyranny
Fear is a cruel tyrant and we all know it. It debilitates us and immobilizes us, by restricting our possible responses to life and thus severely limiting it.
It effectively sabotages us from succeeding in reaching a goal or achieving happiness and peace of mind.
Fear can make us reject an opportunity to make a public speech, hold us from applying for that perfect job, keep us back from making that fantastic trip or keep us awake at night worrying what might happen to our loved ones when they are out of our sight. The examples are endless and I don’t need to illustrate further – I’m sure you get the gist of it.
Some people live in constant fear; some others face fear from time to time when it creeps out from some hidden corner and surfaces to haunt their days and nights.
The fact is that fear is a form of feedback about potential or real danger in our environment. Physically it is associated with a part of our brain called the ‘amygdala’ situated at the tip of the temporal lobe.
It is the part of our brain responsible for the flight, fight or freeze response to dangerous situations. No doubt, such instinctive responses were greatly helpful to the survival of our ancestors in the past. Yet as societies grew increasingly more complex and human lifestyles changed radically, this primordial survival instinct started sometimes coming at odds with everyday life situations that do not require such drastic responses.
The effect of that was an embedded sense of fear that manifests itself in many forms such as anxiety, worry, lack of sleep, nervousness and uneasiness, etc. (more…)
How to be a mindful parent
Mindfulness, the practice of focusing on just one thing, means to simply experience the moment while excluding worries, self-doubts and distractions.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society together with his wife Myla, apply the concept of mindfulness to parenting. According to Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness allows us to see past surface appearances and understand our children clearly. It allows parents to be less reactive and more conscious of their actions and choices.
Understand Your Child’s Point-of-View
- Imagine the world from your child’s point-of-view. Imagine how you appear to your child. Think about what type of parent you are to your child.
- Be mindful of your expectations of your child. Consider whether they are truly in your child’s best interest.
- Practice putting the needs of your child above your own needs. Find times when both your child’s needs and your own needs can be met simultaneously.
Practice Self-Awareness
- When you are unsure or lost, practice bringing your full attention to the situation. Remember that sometimes it is good to remain silent until you become more sure of what is called for in the situation.
- Make quiet time and practice mindfulness for yourself. Focus on continuing to grow in self-knowledge and awareness.
- Practice accepting even difficult moments without trying to change them. Let go of attempts to achieve a specific outcome. Practice seeing whatever comes up as “workable.”
Build a Relationship with your Child
- Apologize when you are in the wrong or have betrayed a trust. Apologies demonstrate that you have thought about a situation. However, they lose effectiveness if they are overused.
- Think about how your child is unique and notice your child’s special needs.
- Be clear, strong and unequivocal when the situation calls for it. Let your limits come from awareness and judgment rather than fear and a need to control.
This is a republished article written by Christy Matta for ehow.com under Creative Commons license
Proactive resolutions for 2010
Photo by pfala
In a recent article I published on Lifescape artists I suggested that there is a psychological loophole in the way we look and talk about New Year resolutions.
For starters, the word “Year” in New Year, subconsciously (and wrongfully) suggests a timeframe we are bound with. Hence, we covertly hint to ourselves that whatever we aim to achieve is only bound by a year and not a lifetime.
The linguistics of it can provide the weakly resolute mind a stage trick – a back door out. Personally, I think that talking about ‘New life resolution’ rather than ‘New Year’s resolution’ might avoid this problem…but breaks from tradition and common forms of speech (can’t have everything can’t you?).
Secondly, the type of resolutions we often make are more about sorting out lifestyle habits that swayed out of line –smoking, drinking, excessive eating and accumulating clutter – rather than life changing ones.
They are reactive rather than proactive.
I would like to drop a few suggestions about some proactive ‘New Life resolutions’ you might take for 2010….and hopefully, all the years to follow.
Lifescape artists is Online!!!
I’m glad to announce the birth of a new blog – Lifescape artists!!
The blog was launched yesterday by myself and friend and co-founder Srinivas Rao of The Skool of life.
We started working on the idea a few weeks ago when Srini approached me with the proposal of starting up a multi-authored blog. The idea struck me immediately and I gladly accepted to take up the project and be counted in.
From there we started throwing in all sorts of ideas, visions and goals we wanted to achieve for the blog. We quickly got on working on it with great enthusiasm and managed to pull it together in record time.
Soon after a couple of other bloggers joined in the team: Brett of Dare to Express, the youngest member of the team but with ideas and skills that wildly betray his age, and Mia of Miataylor.com, a highly talented undergrad studying travel journalism with a flair for writing, photography, traveling and lifestyle.
The objective behind lifescape artists is to deliver empowering messages, ideas and tips throughout its varied content, in a refreshing style and character so as to motivate people leap forward from where they are now to where they want to be.
Lifescapeartists will synergistically bring together each blogger’s experience in personal development and other areas such as productivity and Lifestyle.
Even a few days before launching, the team members’ excitement was buzzing high. We knew we were onto something bigger than our individual powers.
We feel that this positive energy behind such a highly motivated teamwork will emerge into fast-growing, top-class project.
I would also like to reach out for fellow bloggers within the niche and invite them to participate. It’s a great opportunity to ride the wave and join the synergy with loads of fun along the way. It’s also a great avenue to promote one’s name and work.
So if you think you have the right inclination and a meaningful message to spread, come on and join in. Participation is open to different levels of contribution ranging from one-off guest posts to becoming regular writers.
Make sure to visit the blog and check out the ‘contribute’ page. Feel free to contact me through this blog or through Lifescapeartists and ask me questions.
Heart Driven Success
Photo by timtom.ch
There are many factors that play a determining role in success. The most commonly identified are qualities such as passion, determination, perseverance, good planning, intuition and creativity amongst a few others.
It is to be said, however, that not all success comes from the heart or leads to happiness.
There is success which comes from taking smart decisions, hard work and perseverance together with a pinch of good luck. But this type of success does not necessarily lead to a happy fulfilled life. It might be the type of success that comes from striking the right six figure business deal or from having your name become big in your area of expertise.
This is obviously a great thing but does not necessarily entail what you really want deep inside.
Authenticity and inner purpose
Heart driven success is the ultimate form of success because it goes beyond limited beliefs about cause and effect, desire for money, fear and expectations and most of all, it is guided from the heart.
When you have stripped off the socially induced values of what is good, bad and ugly and listen more to what your heart is saying, you thrive towards your inner purpose. You would have found your authentic self. (more…)
The little sacred rules of inner peace
Photo by jsbanks42
No matter how different people’s goals, inclinations and social conditions might be, there is always one thing that is common to all humans – the desire for inner peace.
Some might not be consciously aware of this all the time or their life experiences have completely closed their heart to this possibility. Others might think that their highest goals are nothing like inner peace but more like material success and gratification.
Still, whether we admit it or not, we all seek happiness and inner peace. Nobody will ever feel complete with loads of material rewards but a spiritual void. So many life stories are a witness to this.
The rules
If you are listening to your heart’s calling for inner peace and happiness, there are a few rules you can embrace and follow in your life. These rules helped many people over many centuries acquire inner peace, reconciliation with their heart’s desires and happiness.
Here they go: (more…)
A simple visualization technique to keep calm under pressure
This is a Guest Post by Jon Rhodes
The way people react in a moment of crisis is generally a good measure of their character. It is easy to be calm and efficient when there is no pressure on, but not so easy when the cauldron is bubbling. The really useful and successful people in life are those that can rise to the occasion and get the best out of themselves in those moments of pressure.
If you want to achieve great things in your life then you have to able to cope with pressure. Many people fail to get the best out of themselves simply because they run away when the going gets tough, rather than facing up to the demands and battling through them.
I can show you a simple visualization technique that you can use in stressful moments, which combines hypnotic and meditation techniques for a really powerful result. It is an enjoyable visualization technique that sets you up with a trigger word so that you can quickly relax in any given situation, by simply saying to yourself your word. Before you begin, make sure you won’t be disturbed for about half an hour, and get yourself comfortable. (more…)
5 ‘World views’ the world can do without
Photo by Texture crazy
The world has been shaped and coloured by myriads of political ideologies, cultural dispositions, religious beliefs and spiritual affinities. It is also strongly influenced by the zeitgeist or the collective spirit of the moment.
Some of them have been good and perhaps even though strongly resisted or fought over at first, they were conducive to the right social change.
Some other ideologies were however pointless, unproductive, incurred suffering or waste of life and in the end only benefited the ruthless few in power.
In today’s world there still are general collective mindsets or beliefs, we call ‘worldviews’, that even though not directly harmful are at best a hindrance to human creativity but can turn into hatred and violence at their fiercest.
I have picked up the top five worldviews which I personally believe the world would be a better place without.
I’m sure there are more but I think that the ones below are general enough to capture further and more specific forms of worldviews.
Latest log in my travel journal
Photo by China Guccio
I have been in China this week. This is definitely not my first time there. Every time I’ve been in China I always took something back with me – as an experience that is, or as a lesson.
In previous experiences I was impressed by perceptions such as human adaptability and ingenuity in highly competitive and dynamic environments, by greed and power, fragility and the dwarfing of the individual relative to the enormity of the place and the size of its population.
This time it has been a different insight altogether which is not so much tied to the place but to a more general perspective of things. I want to share them here with you because I am sure that most of them will resonate with some of your own experiences (which perhaps you might also want to share 
).
If things go out of plan, relax, reinvent and celebrate change
Quite a few things went out of plan in my last trip. A long delay which made me lose my connection and a day out of my schedule was the main theme. Other unforeseen deviations and little bumps and hiccups were not uncommon either.
But all in all my attitude remained a positive and relaxed one. I had prepared myself mentally for this. I had told myself that a lot of unpredictable variables can get along the way but that’s OK. It’s part of what traveling is about. And it was.
It’s nice to observe the bitter sweetness of having your plan scrambled up due to one unforeseen circumstance. But then after you accept it and reinvent yourself, it all takes shape perfectly and you realize that one blunder brought you along a more interesting course that you would have missed if your plan went unaltered.
It is in those moments when you open yourself to change and see an underlying force at work. You don’t deny it. You celebrate it. (more…)
